Break the Cycle (becoming an adult)

We have likely all been there, it’s been years since you lived with your parents and yet when you visit them you fall back into regular patterns as though you never left. Even things that haven’t bothered you for you years now can drive you crazy and things don’t change. While with your parents many things are over looked and forgivable it isn’t always the same with your siblings. Even though they may be married, have kids and successful careers there are things that still make people fly into a fit of rage or hurt feelings. How does one address this? How do you change the perception of each especially when overall things have changed pretty dramatically.

This issue isn’t just relegated to young adults who live with one another. It can also be much older siblings who have not seen eye to eye for many, many years. Old patterns form very quickly when the parties get back together. One of those issues that I have noticed in dealing with siblings that there is a certain amount of competition.  You start comparing achievements against each other. Even when their lives have taken different turns. I have a successful career, two degrees, a wonderful wife and 3 awesome kids. When I look at my siblings they have successful careers and degrees and are married to wonderful people to me those are great achievements. I am very proud of what each one has done, if I could write like my sister I would probably have a blog with a million readers.

But achievements and lives are compared to one another and the next thing you know people are arguing about things and complaining about underlying motives. No, just cause something is said does not meant that there is some kind of underlying motive behind it. This is one issue that I perceive in many families. This can be overcome by talking about it and bringing it into the light. Accepting past mistakes and talking about what happened can lead to a reconciling that may not be possible otherwise. Another benefit of  being happy for others and their achievements helps a lot in not getting frustrated with family members. Yes it can be frustrating to see people do better then you but you will likely get there one day too. You can also learn from them and strive to be like them and how they achieved their goals.

How do you reconcile issues within your family?

Read more:

Break the cycle:

The Frailty of life:


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