There’s no Tabula Rasa here (kids are all preformed)

Man_without_Qualities_n°2While I was in college I took a course in child psychology. I remember that the instructor talked about child and what children do. One of the things that the instructor really harped on was that there’s generally to schools of thoughts when it comes to child psychology. Children are born tabula rasa which means the child is a blank slate or they’re born with many of their personality built-in. After having children of my own I discover that the reality is is that everything is already there. The only difference between you and a baby is, you have years of experience as a baby does not.

So looking back upon the statement that kids are tabula rasa, I really began thinking of what exactly would drive somebody to that conclusion. Because in observing a child you learn very quickly that everything’s already there. The people that said this, must not interact with children at all or are just liars? I don’t know, but having spent a significant amount of time with my own children I have realized that they all have their own kind of temperament. They definitely take a lot of traits from their family. You can see that they are like you, your wife , and grandparents and so on and so forth.

It is amazing when you see your kid smile at you and you recognize that that smile is the exact same smile that your mom has. But not just that, it is also the way they move their hands, the way they look at you and even their sense of humor is very reminiscent of some kind a family member. My oldest one laughs in a very peculiar manner that’s exactly like his mom, his grandfather (my wife’s dad), and my wife’s dad’s mother. So if anyone ever comes at you and says that children start off as blank slates or boards and that you you can form them anyway that you want. The reality is as a parent you can focus and change some things, but but most of it it’s already in there and there’s not really a lot that you can do to change that.

By Onlysilence (Own work) [CC BY-SA 4.0 (, via Wikimedia Commons


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